You have the power...

It was the summer after tenth grade. I leaned back in my chair and spoke to him, my eyes filled with tears.
“I just don’t understand why everything has to happen all at once, and I don’t know how people can be so mean. It’s almost like they don’t care at all,” I said.
“You generally can not change the way that people act towards you. You may want them to say one thing or do one thing but realistically, it may never happen,” he replied.
I was having an appointment with my new psychologist. During the end of the school year, I had experienced a great deal of depression and anxiety and was trying to piece my happiness back together.
“You just have to take things as they come and remember that suffering is what you make it,” he continued.
“So basically, I can change the way I feel about certain things?”
“You may not be able to change the way you feel about situations,” he replied, “but you are able to change how you react to them. The next time that something happens to you that makes you upset, try to take a step back and ask yourself ‘do I really need to get worked up over this?’ or ‘What will make me feel better?’ . This is an approach that will help negate you from being controlled by your emotions and will in turn let you think about the situation before you become upset.”
I looked up at the clock. It was 4:30, time to go. I thanked him for his time and walked slowly to the door of his office. The garbage was overflowing with used tissues. It reminded me that I needed to retain my composure before reuniting with my mother in the waiting room. As we walked down the hallway toward our car, a phrase from the conversation I just had with my psychologist floated about in my head. “Suffering is what you make it”. It repeated over and over and began to sink in.
Weeks continued and the repetition of the phrase in my head became greater and greater. I had used the phrase on several occasions, such as how to not be bothered by rude cashiers and how to keep my cool when my mother was yelling at me with a (seemingly) pointless reason. But, my greatest accomplishment did not occur until mid-October, and one of the worst days of my life.
This mid-October worst-day-of-my-life even started off horrible. It was the day after my boyfriend of the time and I broke up (so naturally, it was set up to be bad). I had seen my ex in the hallways a few times and cried every time but seemed to get myself back together each time. Then I found out that I was failing my math class and that I received a seventy on my latest Spanish test. To make things worse, I lost my cell phone and forgot money for lunch. When my mother came to pick me up from school that day, I made a conscious decision to make my day better. I sat in the front seat, took a deep breath, and started to smile. Incredibly, my mood shifted from bad to good and within the next hour, I was laughing. I learned that I really could alter my mood and perception of a situation just by changing the way that I was thinking about it.
The advice that I received from my psychologist has followed me through many tough times. When my grandfather passed away, (although it obviously could not relieve all of the pain), it certainly kept me going. When one learns that he can choose the way life affects him, he then has control over its quality. It is important to have this ability because it can alter ones life tremendously, like it did mine. Before I learned that I could control the amount of enjoyment I got from life, I was in a rather deep depression. After I gained the information, I was able to pull myself out of my depression and to view my life optimistically, no matter what situation I was facing. It was certainly the most valuable advice that I have ever received.