Who Am I?

What does it mean to know yourself? Well, “know yourself” does not literally mean “I know myself”. Instead it means, “I am comfortable with myself”. You may “know” who you are, flaws and all, but it does not make a difference unless you are satisfied with that person. When you are comfortable with whom you are, it is easier to get through the troubles in front of you. This is because you are able to assess your strengths and weaknesses and apply them to any situation in order get through it the best way possible. In other words, when you know yourself, you know how to tackle the world around you because you know what you can and can not do. It is important to be comfortable with who you are because that determines how easy or hard it will be for you to tackle those situations. For example, if Suzy tries out for her school’s volleyball team thinking “Well, I’m not sure if I am very good at any of this. But, I guess I want to be on the team” then she will most likely not perform very well during try-outs. It is likely that Suzy would seem to be afraid of the ball (ducking at the wrong times, not hitting it very hard when she has the chance), because she is unsure of herself. In contrast, if Suzy says, “ Okay, well I know that I am really good at bumping. I am not so good at spiking the ball, but I bet that if I watch some of the other girls’ techniques and use what I do know, I can get better” then she is more likely to impress the coach with her abilities. This is because although Suzy may not be the best at everything, she is able to figure out what she is good at and what she is not as good at. By knowing her strengths and weaknesses, Suzy is able to try-out to the best of her ability. Also, Suzy has a much better attitude and will feel even better about the effort she put into volleyball. By knowing yourself, you are able to give your best effort to anything in front of you.
I am well on my way of “knowing myself” and therefore have already realized a few of my strengths and weaknesses. My absolute worst quality is that I find it hard to let go of the past. This has become more and more apparent to me over the past couple of months. This is because, for the past two and a half years, I had a boyfriend (who I loved very much). The past year had especially been a struggle for us because things were not working out and neither of us knew how to let go, especially after all of the experiences that we had faced and cherished together. Even as our relationship became more and more rocky, we held on to each other. As expected, the situation became continually harder and harder since neither of us quite knew how to move on. That boyfriend was able to realize that it was time for him to give up and move on. As he moved on, I held on to him as tight as I could. “Why would you leave after everything that we have shared”, I said, even though it was very apparent to me why he would. I tried so hard to hold on to what we had in the past and to forget that what we shared in the present was not nearly as worth fighting for. As a result, I became very hurt. I became more hurt than I ever should have let myself become. All of this was simply because I did not want to accept change. Our situation became a lot worse before I was finally able to take a step back and let myself let go.
But, my best quality quickly became helpful. This quality is that I try to learn the most that I can from every situation that I face. In this case, I was able to realize that he wasn’t just leaving me because he did not love me anymore. He was simply leaving me because things had changed, and during that time, we should not have been together. I was able to take a step back, and look at the big pictures. I was able to see that letting go was what I absolutely needed to do. This realization helped me to move on and make the best of a situation. I understand why the situation was so painful and I understand how to tackle it if I have to face a similar situation in the future. The quality of being able to learn from the situations I face has taught me how to deal with the death of a family member, car accidents, and bad grades. Overall, this quality has helped me to be resilient.
Writing about one’s own strengths and weaknesses is incredibly difficult, especially during adolescence. We are unsure of who we are, and what we are made up of (not literally). Also, we are generally self-conscious. This ties into the concept that I introduced at the beginning of this blog: that “knowing yourself” really means “being comfortable with yourself”. As our humanities classes type about what we are good at and what we are not good at, the majority of us are thinking “okay, who is going to read this, and what are they going to think about what I said”. As we get older, and become more comfortable with who we are, it will become easier for us to say ‘I am this, this, and this, and it does not matter to me if you agree with that or not because that is simply who I am”.
Although writing about ourselves is a difficult, and rather personal task, it is also necessary. There is no better time to start thinking about who we are than the present. This blog is just an introduction to many years of soul searching and I guarantee that the majority of students in our classes have started this process. These students opened the website entitled “The Same River Twice” and instead of reading, “what does it mean to know yourself?”, they read, “who are you?”. Those students then said to themselves, “Hm, who am I?”. Hopefully, confidence and self-assurance will be soon to follow.